metapunk

It comes down to a natural, but frustrating part of human psychology: the tendency to assume things when we don’t know the facts.

The world is complicated.  Far too complicated, in fact, to fully grasp with the limited processing power of a human brain.  So, evolution blessed us with a shortcut.  We put things into categories.  We label them, so that we don’t have to think about them too deeply, so we can get on with other things.  But I don’t have to tell you how often this screws us up–because quite often our assumptions are dead wrong.

A little while ago, I was at a somewhat formal social function when an older gentleman I had just met engaged me in conversation.  He asked me about my life and how old I was.  I explained that I was in my mid-thirties.  He asked if I was married, and I said no, I wasn’t.  Then, with a pause and a meaningful look in his eye, he said: “You do like girls, don’t you?”

I almost facepalmed.  Yeah, I wanted to shout, I like girls so much that I can barely converse with them without my palms sweating and my vision going dark.  So why must extended bachelorhood automatically imply homosexuality?  And what the heck does it matter anyway?

It bugs me because the implication is that I should like myself less because I’m chronically single, or if my sexual preference were different than his.  And the really infuriating part of it all is that this man was perfectly earnest in what he was saying.  There was no hint of irony, or even awareness that his preoccupation with other people’s sex lives was a little disturbing.

Oh well.  I suppose I should have said all this to his face, although I’m not sure what good it would have done, and in any case, open argument would not have been appropriate for the occasion.   Still, it’s frustrating when people are like that.